Poem on the Xerox Machine
The Xerox machine is not printing currently,
But feel free to try it
Later on today.
We wanted you to know
That we are aware of the issue.
Poem on the Introduction of Further Paperwork
We didn’t believe
That there was sufficient paperwork
Associated with this process,
So we have added
Poem on a Phrase in a Faculty Meeting
You may have heard
That this is the case,
But it is simply not the case
Because if you say that something
Is “simply not the case”
In the correct tone of voice,
Which is like a man’s tone of voice,
Then it can’t be.
Poem on the Departmental Merit Review Document
Attached for your information
Is the departmental merit review document,
Which the Executive Committee developed
And which the department as a whole has accepted,
With some revisions,
As the Chair’s guide on merit reviews.
As always, these criteria
Are the rules of thumb
For overall evaluation of a faculty member’s record
By both the Chair and the Deans
That include both a strong emphasis on
A faculty member’s performance
And the larger context
Of performance over time.
Poem on the Center for Wellbeing
The Center for Wellbeing
Asks you to remind your students
That we are here for their
We have several
Exciting upcoming events,
And we have made a lot of signs
And put them
Poem on the University’s New Land
We have bought some land,
Sort of a lot of land,
And we plan to build things on it.
We refer to this as “Project Innovation”
As no one has ever bought land
And built things on it
In the past.
This project represents a unique
And daring vision
For the future.
Please direct all questions
To the Dean of Land Acquisition.
Poem on an Interlibrary Loan
An item that
Through interlibrary loan
And is available for pick-up
At the Circulation Desk.
Title: Cabinets for the curious:
Looking back at early English museums /
Author: Arnold, Ken.
Due Date: 5/16/2016*
*If you no longer need this item,
Please reply to this email.
Poem on a Symposium
There will be
The Crisis in the Humanities.
Please do attend
So we can discuss
Of humanist thought
Reception to follow.
Poem on a Student’s Lost PIN Number
This is just to say
That I have lost my PIN number
And need it to register
So can you please
Send it to me
Poem on the Xerox Machine, II
The Xerox machine
On the second floor
Is printing again.
In the mail room
From the talk earlier
And baby carrots
This is marvelous. so funny.
My heart is singing.
These poems remind me of office emails I receive. Here is some info you can do nothing about and of which you care very little.
I remember those days
Innovative poem. Perfect verse and easy style
These are eerily and funnily (if that’s even a word) true. 🙂
Yes Nessa, they are funny and true!
From poet to poet, a beautiful piece. From student to teacher, I know the struggle. As a future English teacher, oh, what a vision of the future.
Hilarious, and refreshing actually. After so many years of never understanding any of the poems I read, I figured I was incapable. Not so here! Bravo! Poems for the plebeians and rich in intellect alike.
These perfectly depict daily struggles so eloquently.
How reassuring I am not alone…….
Funny and smart writing ❤
I love this – witty and dry and hilariously relatable. 6 and 8 are my favourite