“I’m holding out for a captivity narrative American Girl with a horse hoof in her pocket.” –Michael Snediker.
“Share the HERO in YOU.”–American Girl
Friends!
You may have noticed: the days are shorter, the students are back, the summer is gone. Avidly, too, is ending…but just its first issue. We’re taking a brief hiatus to get used to the new schedule, but stay tuned for Avidly Fall, bringing you more thoughts on Awesome Things You Should Think About.
In the meantime, we have conceived some dolls for you to play with as you start back to school. Consider it a small, strange, but sincere thank you for the stories you have shared with us, and all the ways they’ve helped show that heroism is real–and comes in the most amazing, suprising, and startling forms.
With intense eagerness,
Sarah, Sarah, and Jordan
Mary Rowlandson doll, slabbered horse hoof included: $125. Accessories (sold separately): detachable pocket with pease, $20; Horse’s leg (that they had got), $40; Angry native owner/companion, $95.
Hester with her needle: $125. Accessories (sold separately): Village Pillory, $149; Ill-gotten demon spawn, $75; Alternate wilderness scene, $160.
Eliza, too thin and in no-longer-fitting dress: $125. Accessories (sold separately): Fashionable Equipage, no price (sold only on falsified credit); Barren Tavern Room, $150; Disciplinary Friends, SPECIAL GROUP PRICE, three for $150.
Harriet doll with special rickety leg feature: $125. Accessories (sold separately): Attic loophole of retreat, with rodents and insects, $150; all other accessories lost in pursuit of ever-retreating freedom.
Isabel doll in Italianate Dress: $125. Accessories (sold separately): Dog signifying departed happiness, $25; Ball Gown costume with symbolically-ripped skirt, $65; Convent room for staging stand-off with Madame Merle, $250.
Sethe doll with (sorry; can’t really do the joke about scarring): $125. Accessories (sold separately): we can’t even.
…See you in the Fall!
special inspirational credit on this one goes to Hester Blum and Michael D Snediker. IT’S ALL IN MARY’S SIX-BOOK SERIES!!!
Chirping with delight and awe! While nursing suppurating wounds!
Nurse those wounds with your head *and* your heart, Hester Blum!
Nurse those wounds with your head *and* your heart, Hester Blum!
i had this idea that one of the American Literature Girls should obviously be Alice B. Toklas. BUT WHAT ARE HER ACCESSORIES???
I think the priority is Magawisca and her lopped-off arm. Accessories include a shawl and a sack that carries Everell’s balls.
Magawisca–yes, please!
YES!
(also must give serious props to Sarah Blackwood
LOVE LOVE LOVE! (Especially since I’m being forced into the American Girl universe by my daughter.) Especially love that the doll is always white and blond. Perfect!
[…] little historical stories interested and amused me. They are also open to quality parody. See American Literature Girls for […]
Toklas comes with a paste-on mustache and a hash brownie.
LOVE. IT. Julia, I also love your “omfg” response. I second that! Avidly, please don’t be gone too long . . . xo
We need a Maisie, too. No mouse, this Maisie comes with a beastly papa, a billiard-playing mamma, a stepfather of general glossiness, and a healthy dose of infantile sexuality.
I am still dying laughing about Alice’s hash brownie, Elizabeth Freeman.
From crushing debt to millinary despair, it’s all in Lily Bart’s six-book series.
“bracelet like a mangle chaining her to her fate”: $50.
Or, “manacle.” But, mangle: yes.
From insidious racism to stunted sexuality, it’s all in Rosa Coldfield’s six-book series.
roas must have raisen-like pressed eyes, a faded dusty and delapidated dress, and a wee step stool to help her reach any armchair included in the ensemble. she must smell like dust and a sweet, sickly scent of lavendar. a tremor is extra.
From mud puddles to masochism, it’s all in the six-book series, “Maggie, An American Girl of the Streets”
You’ll love Trina’s pretend gold pieces and actually gnawed-on fingers! Gigantic tooth comes in accessory set.
Sister Carrie’s rocking chair: $350.
YES.
SISTER FUCKING CARRIE.
OK, the Avidly post is genius. I got totally caught up in the comments and forgot to read it till just now. But SISTER FUCKING CARRIE is the name of my next band. Watch me, I will.
i will add an addendum that my friend Shoshanna and I were discussing an additional line, American public health worker girls. “From lancing abscesses to distributing condoms, it’s all in Public Health Workers six-book series.”
I just love this, but why not brunette? Thank goodness I have a boy.
I really agree that Magawisca (w/ arm) and Alice B. Toklas would be great. But WHERE IS EMILY? (Dickinson, in case that was not perfectly obvious) W/ quill and loaded gun